Thursday, February 4th, 2010...3:25 pm

Great Internet Trolls of Our Time

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There is such a thing in life as schadenfreude; a German loan-word which is used to describe the pleasure a person may gain from observing the misfortune of others. Essentially, deep down, we as a people love to see others fall by the wayside of life: we get off on misery; not to ourselves of course, because that would be bad. But the misery of others provides a sweet nectar indeed.

In these times, we are very much living in an Internet Age, where most people have at least some method of getting online. So, technology may have changed, but human nature remains the same and with our adaptive capabilities, we have transformed the internet into a mere tool via which we cause people misery, all the while revelling in it and crying out for “moar”.

1troll

Ladies and gentlemen, I am of course talking about internet trolls. Whilst they may bear a striking physical resemblance to their fabled bridge-dwelling cousins that populate the nightmares of goats the planets over; in actuality, they’re an entirely different kettle of fish. The essence of a troll is to simply go out on the internet and cause as much misery as humanly possible and Man’s capacity for cruelty is nigh-on infinite. However, on occasion it does cause a whole bunch of lulz.

Trolls themselves are a disease, a virus whose component parts are too numerous to count and document. Many of them will fade into obscurity and rightly so. However, sometimes a troll will gain some diminutive amount of publicity for whatever reason, before schadenfreude kicks in and before you know it, a snowball effect propels the troll into the proverbial limelight of the internet. This article documents a mere handful of some of the more publicised trolls, a mere drop of what is no doubt several oceans of raw sewage and nightmares.

2troll

Bloodninja
Bloodninja is usually a body’s first experience of trolling; it’s that old and well-travelled. Typically referred to as the “Saga of Bloodninja”, his legendary utterance of “I put on my robe and wizard hat” and its effects can still be seen and felt to this very day, no doubt adorning a tshirt from some obnoxiously-named generic tshirt company.

The eponymous Bloodninja took basic internet chat trolling to all-new heights, turning it into an art form and creating results that are genuinely hilarious to read, unlike the numerous subsequent imitators and failures. If chat trolling was black and white TV, then Bloodninja was the guy that made gave it colour and made it awesome all over again.

SerenityNow

Serenity Now Trolls a Funeral
This is probably a troll that everyone has heard of, simply because pretty much everyone plays World of Warcraft, the game in which it took place. In fact, even YOU probably play it, right?

What happened was that a user who had played WoW died in real life, with the friends she had made in the game hosting an in-game funeral for her. Serenity Now, an in-game guild (or a number of players that form a special group, with some numbering in the 100s), perhaps feeling a bit aggravated by this crossing over of real-world issues into what is essentially “a game for fun”, decided to crash the funeral and kill everyone there, diving the community by causing as much mental anguish as it did hilarity.

While on the one side, you have people mourning the passing of a friend in combination with how they all met, i.e. the game, but then on the other hand, a computer game in which people pretend to be elves and hideous gnomes doesn’t need to have actual and genuine real life misery brought into it. Thusly, Serenity Now decided to inflict misery on the funeral-goers by trolling the whole damn thing.

Roomba

Team Roomba
These guys were around at the start of Team Fortress 2 when it first came out and was ridden with bugs, glitches and things that could be exploited for maximum trollage.

Their numerous videos actively chronicle their immense ability to come up with increasingly inventive ways in which to cause grief to other players of the game. They are a team of geniuses, whose sole purpose is to make people cry with rage. Although it does look like awesome fun.

1fortuny

Jason Fortuny
Perhaps a prime example of what our friends across The Pond commonly refer to as a “douche”, Mr. Fortuny took it upon himself to ruin the lives of many desperate men when he posted an advert on Craigslist posing as a woman looking for casual sex of some description. After receiving over 9000 applicants, he then proceeded to post each response (complete with graphic pictures) on Encyclopedia Dramatica (NSFW) for all to see, dubbing it his “Craigslist Experiment”.

Naturally, when this came out, it caused a furore of gargantuan proportions, not least of all for those stupid enough to send in incredibly personal details (and pictures) over the internet to someone they’re never met before. The identities of the men were ousted for all to see, with some of them holding respectable jobs (but not for much longer) and some even being married (also not for much longer). With the subsequent repercussions of Fortuny’s Craigslist Experiment being that there were potentially a whole bunch of freshly unemployed and divorced men out there, it was safe to say that Fortuny was a Ruiner of Lives.

Some modicum amount of justice was dispensed in Fortuny’s direction in 2009 though, as – after bragging that he couldn’t be sued and other similar arrogance – he lost a court case related to the matter, which resulted in him having “to pay $74,252.56 in damages, attorneys fees, and costs”. Gutted.



11 Comments

  • Jason Fortuny is a classic and legendary douchebag.

  • You forgot boxxy.

  • Wordpress Magazine Themes
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    That world of warcraft troll thing was funny :P

  • Facepunch: Your an idiot. Boxxy was just a girl that made a few youtube vids. It was assholes like you that blew that shit out of proportion. That would make YOU the troll. …and fail ensues

  • boxxy is no BAMF.

  • You forgot advice dog

  • Bloodninja is the greatest troll of all time… that dude is insanely funny

  • Troll McTrollFace
    March 8th, 2010 at 12:59 am

    Bloodninja is the only example on that list of a legitimate troll.

    Trolling isn’t just griefing, it involves contributing in a manner that could be considered genuine but is clearly controversial in order to elicit a response and provoke lolrage.

    For example, if you already know that and wrote this article to provoke me to write this comment, you sir are the troll. Troll.

  • I will say the most intelligent troll would be Matthew Moulton aka Onideus MadHatter!

    His personal quote:

    “Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is a real condition and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now.

    I’m eight shades of ass blistering reality coupled with a few sharp bitch slaps of hard, biting, cynical sarcasm.”

  • David Thorne anyone?

  • I come from Battle.net, (op +:+ @ useast) and I would say that the greatest troll on Battle.net has always been Joel Paulien (aka Vector aka Hector aka Joel). He is the leader of Clan CoDe MaFiA HaCkiNg DiViSioN LoL. That is what he calls it. He is a hacker, and uses this skill to cause much chaos among other bnetters.

    He is incredibly intelligent, but will completely fool you into extreme rage in thinking that you cannot get a point across to him. He will bring up an intelligent debate, getting everyone going. But then he’ll hitcha witta bat, and you not be knowin’ that. He will twist every one of your words like a pro, and make everyone think you’re the perpetrator of an argument. This causes much chaos in other channels. Many nemeses have been formed against him to take him down, though he is a hacker and also a very handsome man. In his own words, VeCtoR iS a LOyAL HuMaN BeInG LoL.

    He is a know-it-all. Another troll would be RealityRipple, on useast.battle.net. He is usually in the same channel as VeCtOR (Vector’s gaming name is also VeCtoR_OvErFLoW, so you can probably tell that he knows what he’s doing when it comes to hacking, LoL). RealityRipple is a true sociopath who works in tandem with Vector. He often interjects ideas about theoretical quantum physics into conversation that has nothing to do with it. He states them as facts to derail the topic of discussion, because this way people will try to disprove him. He’s very clever with this, and will often use this as a distraction while VeCtoR is HaCKiNg the person/group he has targeted.

    [12:43:12 AM] i aM A LoYAL HuMaN BeiNg LoL tHe CLaN CoDe MaFiA wiLL HAck You YoU R ToAsT oKaY U R sO DuN foR oK. i Am A MaN oF GoD aNd hE TeLLz Me To HaCk YoU sEw EyE wILL oK.

    [10:17:18 PM] the forces of gravitational pull are actually caused by the fabric of time being separated. this is because time is what causes you to feel a continuity of motion ok. It is a culmination of synapses in the Universe’s neural network and the center causing centrifugal motion ok. Ok.

    Greatest Bnet Trolls Of ALL Time: Vector @ useast, RealityRipple @ useast



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