Thursday, April 9th, 2009...1:29 pm
Ferraris Are Rubbish (And Here Are 7 Reasons Why)
We all love a good supercar wreckage, don’t we? Just how we all love to compare car insurance. There’s just something about seeing a car worth an extortionate amount of money smashed into bits at the hands of incompetent drivers. We take delight in the schadenfreude we experience when yet another vehicle that costs as much as a house meets its untimely demise, an occurrence that seems to befall the popular Ferrari brand more so than others, or is at least a widely-reported event when it happens. Here’s a list of seven reasons to maybe run for your life as you see a Ferrari coming.
A baseball coach in Oklahoma though it would be a brilliant idea to lend two Ferraris (apparently he could afford them, as he was a retired neurosurgeon with cheap car insurance) to a bunch of kids from the high school that he was coaching at. Unsurprisingly, it ended up with them trying to park in the same space and without being able to bend space or time, they crashed into each other (so I hope the coach had thought to compare the market. It would be pleasing to report that the coach then had them flayed alive whilst playing really bad German techno, but all the coach did when he showed up at the scene was light a cigarette and comment that “it’s gonna take a lot of homeruns to cover this one up”.
This Ferrari was found on the expressway that connects some provinces in the Philippines. Apparently the particular model of Ferrari the car was (the F430), happened to be prone to a particularly unpleasant engine overheating flaw which would – on occasion – cause a fire in the engine, thus destroying the car (leading to some rather confused insurance people). I’d like to see Marty McFly skate behind THAT. The fool.
Renowned footballing idiot Cristiano Ronaldo thought it’d be hilarious to crash his Ferrari after only owning it for two days, possibly because he just didn’t care, as he’d earn enough for another one in the few seconds it took to walk away from the wreckage and making that ridiculous gesture at the camera, while someone called RAC breakdown or green flag breakdown for him.
Whilst filming for the movie Redline, actor Eddie Griffin decided to try his hand at driving a Ferrari Enzo. Unfortunately for him, his hand wasn’t nearly steady enough and the car smashed right into a wall, much to the disappointment of Jackie Chan. As the car wasn’t his, it seems that Griffin doesn’t really give a damn, so let’s just hope that the actual owner has some damn good insurance like Churchill car insurance or direct line car insurance.
People seem to be determined to crash their Enzos for some reason. Maybe they elicit a certain feeling of satisfaction from the driver as they crumple into useless heaps of scrap? This time, Russian billionaire Suleyman Kerimov had a go at crashing his Enzo into a tree as he attempted to overtake another car, failing miserably.
Charles Lewis, Jr. also known as “Mask” and founder of the TapouT clothing line was fatally injured when his Ferrari collided with a Porsche and then proceeded to hit the curb only to be cut in half by a light pole.
Yet another Enzo was wrecked (jeez, let’s hope they compare car insurance and get some cheap car insurance before hitting the roads) in the famous 2006 crash that took place in Malibu and involved Gizmondo exec Stefan Eriksson. Essentially, Eriksson claimed that a man known only as “Dietrich” was driving the car at the time, as it raced alongside a Mercedes, flew off an embankment, and was completely cut in half and smashed into tiny pieces which were then scattered all over the road.