Thursday, May 29th, 2008...12:16 pm

The Economical Reason Why Bush Is an Idiot

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A few weeks ago the news broke that George W Bush is actually a real life Robin Hood. That’s right… he’s started robbing from the rich to give to the poor, or at least that is what he’d have you believe. In truth, he’s probably more of a Kermit The Frog figure than Robin Hood as far as the economy is concerned because he keeps on cracking the jokes. The only problem is the American people ain’t laughing.

With the economy in dire straits, Mr bush has decided to give a little back. No, he hasn’t decided to lower the price of gas, food, rent or even taxes. No, it’s better than that, much better, because you’re getting a check through the post. He’s actually writing you a check to help you through these troubled times. A check that will buy you food, clothing, help you pay the mortgage, allow you to buy luxuries in your local mall, pay off your credit cards and maybe even helping you to prevent foreclosure on your home if you have a mortgage. That’s right people! He’s actually put his hand in his pocket to give you the amount you’re really worth!


Did you know that you’re worth a grand total of $600 to the American government?

Yup, you’re worth $600, or $1200 if you have a family. Who knew having kids could make you so valuable? The bottom line is that the massive boost you’ll be getting to help you through what could be years of financial strife if John McCain gets into the Oval Office is a three figure one.

Now don’t rush for the mall just yet. I mean, you have to decide what you’ll be buying first. A new car? A new kitchen? A new PS3 to play Grand Theft Auto IV on? A whole year’s worth of groceries? Well, you can afford to be a big spender now with an extra $600 in your current account.

All joking and irony aside though, what on Earth does George W think he’s playing at? Of course anything is better than nothing but does he really think that $600 per adult will help to boost the economy? The success of Bush’s plan hinged on people enjoying their free money at the mall, which is what he though they’d do, thus rescuing the economy from the doldrums.


It might well have give it a short sharp shock if people were rushing out to spend it, but yet again he underestimated us all. Nobody is spending that money. Instead, we are all purchasing the necessities if we have to with it, but the rest is going into savings for the next rainy day. After all, the economical downturn isn’t over yet by any stretch of the imagination and who knows what the future months in 2008 could hold. Those of us that still have jobs are very, very lucky indeed. Those jobs might well be gone next month though, and if they are? What then? bring out the credit cards?

All of this begs the question of who is screwing whom though. So we all get just $600, which is an absolute joke, but if none of us are spending it then we turn the tables and flip the bird right back at him. Nobody wins, no matter which way you look at, but at least Bush didn’t make the mistake of making the poor poorer by hundreds of pounds a year like British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Brown abolished a tax law that helped the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. If Bush is Kermit The Frog then Brown is definitely Miss Piggy!

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