Jump to Comments

If you have ever had to claim off your car insurance then you’ve probably experienced the effect that a claims agent can have on your normally fluid and clear speech - stuttering and stammering, dribbling and speechlessness are all common symptoms of this amazing disorder that comes and goes every time the phone rings. However, no matter how much you struggle to speak, it’s unlikely that anything you’ve said comes close to making the list below. Welcome to the 25 most hilarious car insurance claim excuses ever!

Without further ado, we shall begin!

1. I was heading to work this morning, pulled out of my drive and drove straight into the local bus – it was five minutes early so it shouldn’t have been there!

2. I ran into the back of the car in front. It was gridlock so I had one eye on the lorry behind, one eye on the pedestrian to my left and one eye on the car to the right. I hadn’t got an eye on the car in front. I can’t do everything you know!

3.
Insurance claims investigator: “Could either of you have done anything to avoid the collision?” Driver: “Travelled on the bus?”

4. I put my foot on the break and started to slow down but the traffic in front was more stationary than I first thought.

5. I pulled onto the side of the road because smoke was coming from under my hood. I realised that it was on fire so I grabbed my credit cards, then my dog and smothered it with the blanket from my boot.

6. This is an actual exchange from a claim form that detailed a collision that the driver had with a cow – Q – “What warning did you give shortly before the collision?” A – “Horn.” Q – “What if any warning was given by the other party?” A – “Moo.”

7. As we pulled up at the traffic lights, the car in front suddenly applied the brakes.

8. We were going 70mph when my girlfriend started giving me a hand job. My brakes failed and I came as we hit the car in front.

9. How was I to know that the speed limit still applied after midnight?

10. We both knew that my dog was possessive about our car, but I wouldn’t have let her drive it if I thought she posed a risk to anyone else.

11. Windshield completely broken. Cause completely unknown. Reason probably Voodoo.

12. The other car smashed into the driver side door without stating its intention.

13. First car braked and stopped. Second car hit first car. A haggis hit the second car.

14. I pulled away from the lay by, looked over at my mother in law and flew straight over the embankment.

15. I collided with a stationary ambulance that was coming the opposite way.

16. I was attempting to kill a fly when I hit the telephone pole. I had minor cuts and bruises but the status of the fly is unknown.

17. I had been shopping for plants but a hedge sprung up as I reached the intersection and attacked the car. I did not see the other vehicle coming.